So now I could be in real trouble... My coach has discovered my ability on the bike, just in time to tweak my June training schedule.. UUGGGHHH... Last weekend did an 80k bike clinic with him and 2 others from the pool.... Then Sunday I ran 13KM without stopping! WOOHOO - no walk breaks, slow pace but I am building my base and can see progress.... Then Monday 108k ride with the swim gang, averaged 28kph which was awesome... I do love the fact that some people in faster swim lanes just assume because you're not Michael Phelps in the pool you must suck at all 3 elements of triathlon... Not so my sweeties......
As for the pool, once I "acclimatize" to the wetsuit and realize that yes I can breathe and no I'm not going to strangle myself to death I can move in it.... 1500K time trial this morning done in 32:07 w/wetsuit. And yes, yet again a learning lesson... LISTEN TO YOUR COACH!!!
He suggested moving to Lane 4, up 1 lane so there would be less congestion for me.... I of course doubted that I could keep up with the group in Lane 4 in their wetstuits so I stayed in my lane. And 1/2 way through I was MAD... Some people just will not move the hell out of your way and let you pass. They insist in holding their "ground" and - oh what the hell. No sense in going on about it... I could see my coach noticing and yes almost laughing at me.... As I finished he just looked at me with a "Now will you listen to me?"..... UUUGGHHHH...
So on to a new topic, the anticipation is building.... First race is next weekend - Milton.... No worries for the bike, and I'm not scared of the run.. I'm a bit nervous about the cold water, taking off too fast and panicking in my head..... Hoping I can get a practice open swim in this weekend to get my head screwed on for the race.... I just need to remember it's ALL MENTAL! If I can keep my yead in the right place then I'll be fine.........
Friday, May 27, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Awakening
I have no idea who wrote this but wow is it true!!! Some of us just take a little longer than others!!!!
The Awakening
A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. It is your awakening.
You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella; that in the real world, there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter. That any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop, and what you should drive how and where you should live, and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
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You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the wo/man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms...just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely... And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK....and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with her/his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
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-3-
You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God/dess isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
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"Love is love, no matter what form it may take or between whom it occurs. It is a wonderful thing to be celebrated and enjoyed...not denied."
Monday, May 9, 2011
Just call me SPONGE....
So the learning never ends!!! Saturday - lesson 1: When stopping for a brief rest moment on your bike unclip your other foot once stopped. Or fall flat on your ass and laugh because yes - everyone saw you and for the rest of the day you will be reminded "uh oh Eva - coming up to a stop, don't forget to lean left"..... Saturday lesson 2: How to change your tube!! Awesome lesson (thank to Master Greg) and I managed to get down to 4:11 for time... Surprisingly not as hard as you would think - so long as someone who knows is showing you!! Sunday Lesson 3: You have to take your spare tube/CO2 cartridge etc. with you when riding to prove you know how to change the bloody thing....
Saturday was GORGEOUS - beautiful sunshine and warm! Got in 97K on the bike and then 2.5K run after.... Averaged 27.7kph on the bike so just over 3:33!! Getting stronger!
Sunday was again GORGEOUS!!!! Back for more torture, I mean training... What was supposed to be an easy 1:15 hour ride around the area turned into a series of sprints and kicking of one's own ass... But I was pretty well keeping up - until that sound.. Yes, the pop and then the hissing of air escaping from a tire tube.... But - hey - I learned how to fix this yesterday so I'm all good... Until that moment when I realize that all required tools and spare tube are sitting on my kitchen table where I placed them last night....
The rest of the gang is gone from sight and I am faced with a long walk back to the parking lot with my car in my bike shoes.... But the great thing about the group is they do eventually realize you're no longer with them... Luckily as well one of our fellow riders had looped out to put in some extra work came along with a spare tube and proper tools....
So - knowledge is power - if you have the spare parts!
What I am also realizing is that I can totally do this.... Off the bike on Sunday I did a 10K run in 1:11... That's uber slow for most but - last November I did the Angus Glen 10K race (on perfectly fresh rested legs) in 1:10.... Take the training the day before and the bike ride that morning, add those in as factors and not too shabby at all - getting stronger! And now when I transition from bike to run I don't feel like my legs are going to give out on me but - my hearrate still skyrockets and it becomes a mental battle for me to keep going... Lesson re-enforced yesterday by someone I was training with - this is training. this is the time to do it. Take some of your training and try to kill yourself to see how far you can push..... Then you'll know your limit.... And then you can push through that limit next time......
Saturday was GORGEOUS - beautiful sunshine and warm! Got in 97K on the bike and then 2.5K run after.... Averaged 27.7kph on the bike so just over 3:33!! Getting stronger!
Sunday was again GORGEOUS!!!! Back for more torture, I mean training... What was supposed to be an easy 1:15 hour ride around the area turned into a series of sprints and kicking of one's own ass... But I was pretty well keeping up - until that sound.. Yes, the pop and then the hissing of air escaping from a tire tube.... But - hey - I learned how to fix this yesterday so I'm all good... Until that moment when I realize that all required tools and spare tube are sitting on my kitchen table where I placed them last night....
The rest of the gang is gone from sight and I am faced with a long walk back to the parking lot with my car in my bike shoes.... But the great thing about the group is they do eventually realize you're no longer with them... Luckily as well one of our fellow riders had looped out to put in some extra work came along with a spare tube and proper tools....
So - knowledge is power - if you have the spare parts!
What I am also realizing is that I can totally do this.... Off the bike on Sunday I did a 10K run in 1:11... That's uber slow for most but - last November I did the Angus Glen 10K race (on perfectly fresh rested legs) in 1:10.... Take the training the day before and the bike ride that morning, add those in as factors and not too shabby at all - getting stronger! And now when I transition from bike to run I don't feel like my legs are going to give out on me but - my hearrate still skyrockets and it becomes a mental battle for me to keep going... Lesson re-enforced yesterday by someone I was training with - this is training. this is the time to do it. Take some of your training and try to kill yourself to see how far you can push..... Then you'll know your limit.... And then you can push through that limit next time......
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Never Ceases to Amaze Me
What the body can endure that the mind doesn't think is possible... Quick summary of Easter weekend -headed north to the parents place, got in some good rides, an ok swim and an ok run.. And indulged.. Then off to Blue Mountain for a 2 day work offsite where far too much food, red wine, and beer was consumed.... So - when Friday morning rolled around and at 5:45 our monthly 3000m time trial was to be done I was a wee bit concerned... 1st time trial I did was 1:21, next time was 1:17. I wanted to shave some more time off this month but after missing 2 days of swim practice due to the holiday weekend + the over the top splurging I was nervous... 1:15 later I was done the time trial and had shaved 2 minutes off - and could have done better... Next time!!!
So Saturday rolls around at at 7AM I'm at the meeting place for a 3 hour ride on the bike with a group of guys lovingly referred to by some as the A team... But I'm mentally ready... I'm turning back early since I have plans with my sister and niece I cannot be late for... Plus I've got my regular back wheel on the bike and when I was in the shop last night doing that I also upgraded the rear cassette to a better one for climbing/hills... Went from an 11x23 to and 11x28... It was a perfect day to be out - crisp and cool when we started out but as the ride progressed and the sun kept climbing it warmed up nicely... Lots of uphills and downhills except the hills all seemed to be upwards on the way back... Needless to say 3:33 later I'm back in the parking lot and have completed just under 100km ride with an everage 27.2 km/hour pace... WOOHOO.... Right???
OOOPS - guess what's happening at 8AM on Sunday morning? I'm registered to run a 1/2 marathon... And I've told people I'm doing it so I can't not show or wimp out.... Even better I shared my time goal with a few people - my tri coach included so now I really have to be on...... So off to bed early I go...
Sunday AM - alarm goes off at 5:30.. Why so early?? So I can have some breakfast and be "ok" on the run... Port a Potties on a race course are not always optimal places to be... But the sleep is lovely so it's 6:10 before I roll out of bed... Grab a quick bowl of cereal, forego the coffee, get dressed and jump in the car... I get 1/2 way around the circle and realize I have forgotten my Garmin watch and my sunglasses... So - back I go... Take the garmin off the charger, grab my sunglasses and back in the car.. Hit the power button on the Garmin and wait - the screen is still blank and no beeping noise???? What the ???? I NEED MY GARMIN.. How else can I keep pace and my walk breaks and know how I'm doing?? So I try again. Still no luck.. UUUGGHHHH.... This has NEVER happened before but - I head back to my house again. Grab a basic watch that the HR monitor is broken on but at least will keep my time.. But - no pace, no interval settings, no HR monitor.....
But - I know the pace bunny for 2:15 so if I stick with her then I can drop off a bit and still hit my goal of 2:20 which will shave 18 minutes off my last 1/2 marathon race.. OK - finally make it to the race location. Whew... Get my chip, check out general area, think about if there's a possibility of switching to the 10k race given that my morning has not started off well and I am doubting if this is a good idea or not.... Anyway- at one point in time I think I'll go back to my car and see if my Garmin might start now.... 1/2 way back the car I realize my sunglasses are missing off my person... Hmm - stop and think. Last place I know I had them was the washroom... Great... Back I go and luckily - THERE THEY ARE... Ok - sign from the higher power that this is all going to work out well...
Advice I took from a magazine article I read recently was - ignore the first 5 minutes of any workout... For me it's more like the first 10-20 depending.... But - 2:26 later there I was crossing that finish line!!! No Garmin to keep pace, lots of hills which were not a factor in my previous 1/2 marathon (it was all downhill in fact), and the bike ride the day before...... So 6 minutes over my goal BUT - I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recently ordered a Road ID bracelet and had "Because I CAN" inscribed on it along with the pertinent medical and emergency contact info.. So true it is - put your mind to the test and the body will follow. It will groan and mumble, adn scream back at you. It will freeze up at times and you may think at some points that you are sucking the last bit of oxygen out of the air but.... You look ahead, pick a point that you're going to keep running to - you can't stop until you hit that point and somehow your legs keep moving, your feet keep pushing and YOU DID IT!!!!!
PS - I now know the trick for fixing my Garmin next time but hey - I also know I can do it without the technology and just my head....
So Saturday rolls around at at 7AM I'm at the meeting place for a 3 hour ride on the bike with a group of guys lovingly referred to by some as the A team... But I'm mentally ready... I'm turning back early since I have plans with my sister and niece I cannot be late for... Plus I've got my regular back wheel on the bike and when I was in the shop last night doing that I also upgraded the rear cassette to a better one for climbing/hills... Went from an 11x23 to and 11x28... It was a perfect day to be out - crisp and cool when we started out but as the ride progressed and the sun kept climbing it warmed up nicely... Lots of uphills and downhills except the hills all seemed to be upwards on the way back... Needless to say 3:33 later I'm back in the parking lot and have completed just under 100km ride with an everage 27.2 km/hour pace... WOOHOO.... Right???
OOOPS - guess what's happening at 8AM on Sunday morning? I'm registered to run a 1/2 marathon... And I've told people I'm doing it so I can't not show or wimp out.... Even better I shared my time goal with a few people - my tri coach included so now I really have to be on...... So off to bed early I go...
Sunday AM - alarm goes off at 5:30.. Why so early?? So I can have some breakfast and be "ok" on the run... Port a Potties on a race course are not always optimal places to be... But the sleep is lovely so it's 6:10 before I roll out of bed... Grab a quick bowl of cereal, forego the coffee, get dressed and jump in the car... I get 1/2 way around the circle and realize I have forgotten my Garmin watch and my sunglasses... So - back I go... Take the garmin off the charger, grab my sunglasses and back in the car.. Hit the power button on the Garmin and wait - the screen is still blank and no beeping noise???? What the ???? I NEED MY GARMIN.. How else can I keep pace and my walk breaks and know how I'm doing?? So I try again. Still no luck.. UUUGGHHHH.... This has NEVER happened before but - I head back to my house again. Grab a basic watch that the HR monitor is broken on but at least will keep my time.. But - no pace, no interval settings, no HR monitor.....
But - I know the pace bunny for 2:15 so if I stick with her then I can drop off a bit and still hit my goal of 2:20 which will shave 18 minutes off my last 1/2 marathon race.. OK - finally make it to the race location. Whew... Get my chip, check out general area, think about if there's a possibility of switching to the 10k race given that my morning has not started off well and I am doubting if this is a good idea or not.... Anyway- at one point in time I think I'll go back to my car and see if my Garmin might start now.... 1/2 way back the car I realize my sunglasses are missing off my person... Hmm - stop and think. Last place I know I had them was the washroom... Great... Back I go and luckily - THERE THEY ARE... Ok - sign from the higher power that this is all going to work out well...
Advice I took from a magazine article I read recently was - ignore the first 5 minutes of any workout... For me it's more like the first 10-20 depending.... But - 2:26 later there I was crossing that finish line!!! No Garmin to keep pace, lots of hills which were not a factor in my previous 1/2 marathon (it was all downhill in fact), and the bike ride the day before...... So 6 minutes over my goal BUT - I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recently ordered a Road ID bracelet and had "Because I CAN" inscribed on it along with the pertinent medical and emergency contact info.. So true it is - put your mind to the test and the body will follow. It will groan and mumble, adn scream back at you. It will freeze up at times and you may think at some points that you are sucking the last bit of oxygen out of the air but.... You look ahead, pick a point that you're going to keep running to - you can't stop until you hit that point and somehow your legs keep moving, your feet keep pushing and YOU DID IT!!!!!
PS - I now know the trick for fixing my Garmin next time but hey - I also know I can do it without the technology and just my head....
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